Experiences shape us. Sometimes, they shape us in ways we do not fully comprehend until we learn to look within, shed the conditioning we have been brought up with, unlearn and relearn who we are and what we hold of value.

To the world, I have probably always come across as fairly independent, strong, optimistic, and cheerful. Inside, I've been broken many times over and am now learning to understand and put myself first. And to realise that is ok to love myself before I love others. What I want to share is both an apology and a word of encouragement to my past selves.

To the 10-year-old who was abused by a relative: The shame you felt was not yours to carry; it should have been his. You did not have to bury the anger you felt and have it come out at the most awkward moments, but it's ok. It was all too much for your little shoulders. And all I can say is I'm proud of you for the steps you took to protect yourself, but also immensely sad that you had to do it, and then lock it away for the next 10 years before you told anyone.

To the 11-year-old who was shamed by her older cousin because some guy in school thought he 'loved' her: It was not your fault. You don't have to feel afraid of his misogynist bullshit.

To the horrible, partly 'mean girl' teenager: It is a wild phase, and you are living out the worst parts of you. You do hurt some lovely people, but you get a chance to apologise. And you do become a kinder person. Forgive yourself.

To the 14-year-old who was felt up by a man who was friends with her parents: Kudos for smashing his hand with your heels. But also, things will get worse before they get better but they eventually, do.

To the 16 to 20-year-old, who was so scared of catcalls and groping: I wish you had slapped all those boys and men. But it's ok, it takes time for you to grow up, but you eventually do. And do be grateful for the friends who did stand up for you.

To the 22-year-old, who sat at a temp job, and cried in her seat because her employer tried to sexually harass her: You were overwhelmed, you had too much going on, with your mom unwell. Yes, you were not really listened to when you finally spoke up, but good on you that you didn't go back to the job.

Also, to the same 22-year-old who thought it was below her 'educated highness' to work at a few temp jobs to pay the bills: Get the fuck out of that entitled shell!

To the 37-year-old who decides to finally stand up for herself: You go, girl. Believe me, it's a hard ride but so worth it. And you don't know it, but you will find your tribe. And oh yeah, you will eventually stop being a judgmental bitch.

To the 43-year-old of today who is still facing stigma from family and friends for choices that should concern only her: Hang in there. Hugs. Keep journalling. And your tribe walks with you. So, yay!